Hashed

I think I understand what they meant by "harshing a mellow"

I am with a nice high, and I just put myself from a feeling good to a feeling crap.

Maybe I already felt like crap. I had a good night out with friends, but now I'm home and was reminded of that girl. I'm done with her, and since we've been over with I've been getting over her, then hanging out twice since a bit away I realized more of the crap I was dealing with. I hate to say this, but I was really pushing myself, and kind of being a sad sack for a while at the end there.

I can do better than her, I know I can, I have been told I can, and I knew when we were a thing, that I could do better.

Fuck it, why do I go for the emotionally immature girls, or the women who have severe daddy issues? Why do I put up with some shit to make something work that I should just get over with? And why do I go for something and try to get back with someone over and over so that I can be the one who finally says no (Or honestly I make up a scenario in my mind where I can be the one who ended it, and push that into a reality)

I know why, I don't want a relationship end. I know that they should, but I want something that will last unlike my parents' relationship.

Fuck this is an emo ass post.

I need regular sex with an energetic woman, some nice grass, and tall glass of ice water.